Week 2

Lesson learned...No days off salaam

I Don't Suffer From Insanity, In Fact I Quite Enjoy It

60 Day Insanity Workout Journey

So I am starting this 60 workout program called Insanity and have decided to Vlog about it. Today will be my intro post, and I "plan" to regularly post updates. Pray with me....Salaam

The Program

*note my current weight is 234lbs*

Long Division

Divisional Round

The Divisional round in the NFL playoffs can be more of a precursor to the Super Bowl than the Conference Championship games. The Divisional round shows us which top seeds benefited from the BYE, and which ones were hindered by it. It shows up which Cinderellas still have time left at the ball, and which ones carriages are becoming pumpkins. Quite frankly this is the round where the men get separated from the boys.

Ravens at Steelers

What happens when the biggest meanest kid on your block, pick a fight with the biggest meanest kid on the next block? Well the NFL equivalent of this fight is the Ravens/Steelers game(s). Boasted as 2 of the most physical teams in the league on offense and defense this matchup is traditionally one of the greatest competitions ever. I believe though that the "finesse" game of either team is what will make the difference. We know that both teams want to be physical and aggressive and attack the line of scrimmage. However I think who ever can get a screen game or some kind of underneath passing game will gain the edge on the other teams aggressive approach

Packers at Falcons

I will try my best not to let my emotions infiltrate this analysis. The Packers have been proving their backers right in the way they dismantled the host Eagles last week. The big question for Green Bay is can they do it again. They do boast one of the most stout defenses in the NFC, however during the regular season the Falcons multi-faceted Offense gave the Packers D, fits. The X factor this time will be running games. Whichever team can establish a consistent running attack will be in the drivers seat early.

Seahawks at Bears

The Seahawks were a remarkable story last week, even though with the victory they still maintain a sub .500 record. The cards were stacked in the Seahawks favor last week, this week they have to literally win this game. They have beaten the Bears before, however it was early in the season. Now the Bears have looked much better with much more consistency since that game. However they have still had the customary Bears stretches of looking terrible on Offense. The difference in this game is mental. Which team can come with a intensity and desire to win that is greater than the others.

Jets at Patriots

Another game where I must put my emotions aside, because I'd love to see a situation where both teams lose but it's not possible. I have always said that the 2 teams in the AFC that run an Offense designed to counter act the Jets D are the Colts and The Pats. Last week The Colts were not running on all cylinders and were knocked off. I don't think the Patriots will be as unprepared. If the Jets can overcome the Home Field advantage, and the preparedness and still repeat last weeks performance then they can leave with a win, if not then we will have a repeat of the regular season matchup in the Meadowlands

He Ain't Heavy

He's My Brother

On the night of January 9th I had the pleasure(and I use that word loosely) of unloading a 75ft truck that contains the entire life(in possessions) of he and his fiance. It was a long and tedious process. it was physically strenuous. Not to mention we then proceeded to unpack the massive amount of boxes and bins that we had just unloaded. I was physically and mentally exhausted, however there was nothing I would rather do that evening(I only say that because you weren't there ;-] ) or any other night of my life. Why you may ask? Well quite simply because he is a friend that I consider to be a brother. I didn't do this because I am waiting for my turn, or because I owed him one. I did not do this because I desire him to owe me one. It is simply because we are friends and that is what "FRIENDS" do for one another. it boggles my mind how people throw the term around these days. No one understand what the true meaning is anymore. It does not mean that you go out of your way for a person, or that you stretch yourself beyond your means. It does mean that you do what you can, that you do what is within your means, and your power. It simply means, that without apology or expectation you consider with love another human being as much you desire yourself to be considered with love. One of my(only lol) readers is a perfect example. She on a daily basis gives a friend that works in the same complex as her rides home from work. This adds extra time to her departure and eventual commute but she does it because she is a great friend. These are just a pair of examples of to me how true friendship is supposed to be, and how it should be expressed. If you don't think you can live up to these criteria then that's fine, just know that I only have real friends because at 25, I am too old to have "imaginary"ones.

But there are still those in darkness
who cannot understandWhy I would share the burden
which belongs to another man.When asked, "Why weigh yourself down
with the load of another?"
I simply smile at them and say,
"He ain't heavy...he's my Brother!".

Playoffs?!?! Playoffs?!?!

Playoff Time

Today is the kick off of the NFL's second season. After what seemed like way to short a season, it is playoff time. I will not be making any picks, only cheering for my team because quite frankly the NFL has some of the most unpredictable playoffs in pro sports. I just felt like giving my opinion on what I feel are the interesting intricacies of the Wild Card Week-End match ups.

NFC

Saints at Seahawks

My emotions aside I truly feel that the visiting and favored Saints do not have a gimme game against the hosting Seahawks. Yes the Seahawks backed into the playoffs with a gaudy 7-9 record, but I actually consider that an advantage for them. They have nothing to lose and that makes them dangerous. Also consider the Saints who are a little beat up, had to travel across 3 time zones and will be playing outside in the most hostile outdoor stadium in the NFL. There is a reason they raise the 12th man flag at Qwest Field, because it is the NFL equivalent of a college stadium and its Saturday....

Packers at Eagles

I have always been a Michael Vick fan. I felt that his redemption story started, when he and his agent decided to reach out to Tony Dungy for mentorship, and should not be so invested in his W/L record as a starting QB. I think the fact that it is, puts a lot of undue pressure on the guy in his first Playoff start since 2005. Not too mention that it appears that nearly everyone is predicting the Wild-Card Packers to go all the way. I think the Pack has the defensive edge, but the Eagles have the(slight) Offensive edge. If it comes down to QB play though consider this Vick is 2-2 in the playoffs Rodgers is 0-1

AFC

Ravens at Chiefs

This game in my opinion is the biggest toss up of them all. The Chiefs are an enigma this season. They have looked Unstoppable at times and Inept at others. They kinda do everything well Run/Pass/Defend Run/Defend Pass but they do nothing great they lack a real identity. We all know that the Ravens bring an old but still world class defense to the scene but I think the lack of a Chiefs defined identity could be a problem. When you know what a team wants to do you can stop it, but when a team(like a woman) doesn't know what it wants, it can be frustrating. To me the difference in this game is the ability of the Ravens offense(which features some amazing weapons) to play on the same level(consistently) as the defense.

Jets at Colts

I will once again attempt to throw my hatred of the visiting team out the door as I analyze this game. The Jets defense is billed as one of the more stout ones in the league however as the Pats exposed they are not built to defend the kind of offense that the Colts are masters of running. That is small ball. Quick little guys running crossing routes and slants all over the field. The Jets offense is erratic but also built to give the Colts defense fits, because it is big and strong. Of course the Colts win the QB edge is an EPIC LANDSLIDE, but take this into consideration, the Jets start two players who have historically given the Colts trouble in the playoffs, Ladanian Tomlison, and Antonio Cromartie

Spotlight Friday: Digging The Well

I wanted to post this little musical photo gallery to show you some of what I have been doing over at the Well Of Hope. There are a few pics of the progression of the building remodel and a few pics of what I have been up to with the youth of the church. Hope you enjoy =)

Taboo: Tupperware

Tupperware

We all have them, In some way shape form or fashion. They have been acquired through various means, and serve a myriad of purposes. Yes I am talking about those airtight re-sealable plastic containers that we all keep in that special drawer, cabinet, or shelf. Most of the ones I own were secured of Shen-Long Chinese restaurant and their insanely delicious hot and sour soup. Others I purchased, and some were just kept after someone gave me food in them. Nevertheless they are now permanent fixtures in my life. Now if you have ever read any of my previous posts you already know that this post is not about plasticware. It is in fact about a characteristic of said plasticware, that being its airtight sealing ability. It's the biggest draw to these containers, after them being both microwavable and dishwasher safe.Their airtightness is what gives them the ability to preserve and protect what is inside of them. Which brings me to the core purpose of this post. That airtight protection, and how it is achieved. No not for your food, but for your alibi! If you have ever been late somewhere. If you have ever not met a deadline, or been caught speeding, or caught in any situation where you would be required to get yourself off the hook then you have created an alibi before. Some alibis(i.e. the dog ate my homework) are terrible and predictable, and will probably never work. However there are some alibis that ate lead pipe locks to work. Now the vast majority of these require proof for validation purposes. Like if you say you were ill, you may need a doctors note. If you were mourning a passing, you may be asked to present a death certificate, or Obituary. There is an upper echelon of alibi though. Ones that will be believed with no proof necessary. An airtight, solid and dare I say perfect alibi. I securely know of only one of these and there are only a handful of persons that can use it. Those persons being my male friends, and that Alibi being "I was with Ian"(I pray none of my buddies ladies read this lmao). Now it has been a blessing and a curse that every woman any of my friends has been with has taken to me. Some have even gone as far as to say I'm their favorite Bro In Law(awww). However this comes with great responsibility, see these women trust me with the care of their guy, when they are not around. I get a lot of, "Ian keep him out of trouble ok" or "Ian you'll look out for him right?" from them. It's actually quite amusing at times. It can be advantageous because I can use myself as a trump card. If we are having trouble getting a buddy out of the house, we(or I) simply tell his lady that I will be there and she folds. Its almost like a golden ticket. I guess the thing that makes this all so humorous is that up until maybe recent history(the past year) I was the "wild child" in the group. I guess the thing that set me apart was that all of these women understand the seriousness by which I approach relationships, and their sanctity. The downside is that the alibi also works, when I don't know whats going on. Yes "I was with Ian" has been used without my knowledge. It can be frustrating to find out after the fact but I suppose there is not much I can do besides at my buddies to at least give me a heads up. I don't really want to ruin my place as the airtight alibi, I just want to actually be there when we are all hanging out with me ya know? So fellas if you didn't realize this before know ya know, and ladies I am still to be trusted! Salaam

And The Oscar Goes To

And The Oscar Goes To...

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I love movies. Movies of all types from documentaries, to classics I love them all(ok maybe not corny Rom-Coms) However one aspect of the movie watching experience I have come to completely despise is the awards. Ok not all the awards because recently I have fallen in love with the Golden Globes, and their penchant for actually rewarding talent and ability, and not being hand cuffed by diplomacy, and bureaucracy. The Oscars on the other hand have been consistently disappointing me for years. First lets step back and address to me what is the greater issue. Why is there a such thing as an award given for an art form that can ONLY be subjectively judged. Yes I know saying this would open an entirely new can of worms that I am not prepared to mess with. I know that awards like the Pulitzer, The Tony's, and *sneer* The Grammys(which I hate by the way also) are also based on subjective judgment. I am asking this though, why are expressions of art like plays, movies, books, and music the only ones we butcher by placing the pressure of having to be "award" caliber in order to maintain relevancy? Why not sculpture, and painting? How about architecture or cooking? For that matter lets make an award for everything that we as a society have an subjective opinion of? If it sounds ridiculous thats because it simply is. There is no legit criteria for award something that is based in opinion. The big issue is who's opinion is more valuable than the person who is interpreting the art form. Academy of Film what makes you the supreme authority on what is quality and what is not? What makes your opinion of a film hold more merit than mine? I do appreciate the few awards out there that weigh in consensus opinions because at least that gives us an idea of what the majority of people feel but who is to say that even they are correct. Thats the beautiful thing about opinions, we all get to have one. Like it or not, agree with it or no the person who thinks your favorite movie is trash is allowed to think so! So how with so opinions out there are we able to have an awards system that is designed to stifle opinions? i know my random rant won't change anything. I also realize that maybe in some twisted way the awards keep some actors employed since the same people don't win them every year. I would just for once see a real uninhibited piece of artistic expression be recognized, appreciated and lifted up rather than seeing writers and directors force themselves through cookie cutter criteria in order to be considered for the damned Oscars. I know I will probably never see this my life time but what I do know is that if Christian Bale gets an Oscar for playing himself in The Fighter I will have an EFFING ANEURYSM!!!

Introspection: The Giving Tree

Introspection Series: Volume III

"The Giving Tree"

We are all(or at least those of us who have had a decent childhood) familiar with the Shel Silverstein book by the same title. I personally must have read it a thousand times. No literally the first copy I owned was read until disintegration. I gave myself to that book until it just couldn't take it anymore and fell apart under the weight of my voracity. I don't remember at what age exactly I initially read the book but I am certain that upon completing it I had just read my own biography as told to me by Mr. Silverstein. See I like the tree in the book had a thing for giving. Now as a young person, or as a very emotionally driven person you may see the actions of the tree as loving and caring and generous. I would agree with you 100% on these points, however after deeper examination of the story I realize the scary self destructive potential that this particular level of giving possesses. To the degree that it could be a fault. It is a fine line to walk. On that one may find is increasingly unclear, as the journey continues. See in the book, all the tree wanted to do was be loved back, and so it gave of itself because it loved and desired reciprocity. This is an entirely different conversation(and possibly blog post) in itself, if we try to determine if gestures of love are merely attempts to receive reciprocated affection. In the interest of time and space, lets move on. The previous theory was a very common one about me however I can honestly say that my motivation for my giving nature is not such. There is something about me that just hates to see those around me without. I have a tendency to give and give of myself until, I have nothing left for me. For a long time this was very self destructive. Most recently so in the last serious relationship I was in. It is never a good mix for a person that is needy to be with a person that is giving. It is a toxic symbiosis for both parties involved. I would do and do and do some more. For her, her family, her friends until I burned out. I got to a point where I felt taken advantage of and began to refuse. something that was alien to me. These out of character actions would not last long though as I quickly fell back into to my traditional role of giver. It became unhealthy and it was obvious to everyone around me, save for myself. I had to have a true awakening, and come to the realization that though I wanted to give her the world I could not at the expense of well....my world. Needless to say I had to re evaluate and reset. We wound up broken up. It was at this point that I approached giving with a new attitude. I still desired to give everyone I loved everything they ever wanted but, I realized that I needed to put myself in a better position to do so. I could not just wallow in the mire of my situation. I had to use my desire to give as a motivational tool. I must better myself, and put myself in a better position to give. I had to realize that those who I care about(and who care for me) have a strong desire to see me succeed, and have personal happiness. I had to learn to be concerned with self and strive for personal gain(to a degree at least). I still have a tendency every once in a while to over extend myself in an attempt to give to another but I am no longer hypnotically controlled by these desires. I unlike the tree have learned to give of myself without destroying myself in the process. In the end, It is ME that my loved ones truly desire....

Salaam

And the tree was happy

Evangeline

"Evangeline"

Lovers and fighters, from the inception of of history

have looked to the night sky for blessings of victory

and I being both thought to do much of the same

shout to the sky and make the stars write my name

but as my gaze affixed on the bright lights on heavens lawn

my eyes met a light that was so bright I became like a fawn

or a buck either a deer in the headlights in awe of sheer glory

so much so I have to dedicate time to telling the story

You see as my eyes locked on this distant beauty I was done

She smiled at me a smile as bright and furious as the sun

I call it a smile because the her twinkle changed as my gaze began

as if this star realized that it was being watched by its new biggest fan

I knew it was a smile because I could feel the warmth she gave

and i knew for fact that this was not how stars usually behave

I stared at the sky that night until the next night came

and I could feel her staring back at me the feeling still the same

and though we were separated by thousands of miles

our passion for each other is one for historical files

we communicated in a way that only we understood

our love like a hearth her the fire me the wood

I often wonder do I shine as bright to her as she does to me

Does she realize that I nightly pray for wings to make me free

I would pierce the heavens and traverse the void of space

There's no end to the end I would go just to see her face

I'd fight and scrap and struggle tooth and nail

determined that this in this battle I will prevail

I will give an effort like none that has ever been seen

because I have fallen in love with my own Evangeline

Star light

Star bright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have this wish I wish tonight

Tuesday's Taboo: Virtual Insanity

Virtual Insanity

(With a little real insanity on the side)

I just turned 25 this year and realized that several pop culture icons, classics, and events shared this silver anniversary with me. I also realized that my age has alloted me the ability to see the inception of several societal mainstays. I was there when the personal computer became a household item. I was around when the concept internet was conceived and then executed. I was around to see dial up become DSL, become T1,2,3, become cable, and then all go wireless. I witnessed the birth of social networking and was actually responsible for my college campus joining the original Facebook network. I have seen all of the evolution of the web and its users and have seen the media engine push it all. So it should be no surprise that after experiencing all of these births how depressing seeing a death must be for me. I don't mean the death of a person, i mean the death of collective practical sense(it started being common years ago) in society.

With the emergence of social networking in its current state, we have become a society of drones. It really scares me sometimes how quickly fallacies, trends, and nonsense spread on the internets. Most of it is due to a concept that I sum up into this saying. "Anything said out loud in public is automatically and indefensibly true." Now imagine if you are a sprightly young woman walking the corridors of your local mall, you are approached by a homely gentleman who is draped in a gaudy clown suit like ensemble with some famous logo emphatically displayed on it. He is rude and obnoxious and soliciting intercourse, you being a woman of elevated morals, discriminating taste of course reject the advances and proceed to walk away. Now before you are 30 ft away the young male proclaims. "Shorty in the leather boots there is a stuck up b*tch" You turn to speak and realized you are powerless, no matter what you do his opinion will be believed and based on your actions potentially supported. Fear not because I am in the crowd and proceed to decapitate the knave while not staining my pinstripe suit with his heart gunk. Now this is an extreme hypothetical, but things like this happen all the time. especially now that we have the web. The internet, and social networking is like alcohol. It doesn't turn you into a person you are not, it is not a mood amplifier, or a manipulator of your psyche. Like alcohol the internet is an amplifier turned to 11! It makes you a Bruce Banner turned Incredible Hulk version of yourself. Without all of the things that make humans naturally socially awkward(cowardice,insecurity,social class systems,cliques etc) the social networking scene is populated by those who have no social skills(trolls) or networking skills.

There are so many symptoms of the human condition that the internet or specifically the social aspect of it, actually worsen. I will proceed to describe (a few of) them.

Paranoia

Something that I suffer from in the real world, and try not to bring into the virtual one. Paranoia is a true sickness. On the net though it can be debilitating. People will not act, they won't speak. They will simply not do anything because they are paranoid of the ramifications. These are the people on FB who want no pictures tagged to them, who delete comments and open no messages. These people think that everyone is out to get them, you will also find them with a twitter DM outbox full of "was that last tweet about me" messages

Stalkers

Everyone that has ever been interested in a person of the opposite(or ocassionally same) sex has participated in this activity to some small degree. Only a select few of us have taken it to the level by which the activity becomes illegal. However on the internet where peoples privacy has been deemed public property EXTREME levels of stalking take place on a regular basis. Profile watching, lurking, creeping, tweetwatching, are all terms used to describe a group of creepy people who clandestinely focus on a person profile like well a STALKER!

Perverts

Every man by age 12 has learned at least 1000 things he can say to a woman that could get him slapped. That is considering that these things or their variations have been said face to face. when dealing with face to screen interaction, it becomes a bit more difficult to develop this same sense of social filter. A pervert will ask a woman he just "met" to show him her "tits" or gtfoh. He will show her pictures of his penis, he will make lewd comments and be generally graphic and vulgar. They let the pervert get away with it because he not directly talking to anyone face to face. However one day he will and will have never learned to do so politely!

Philosophers/Theologians

If you give a speaker(especially a preacher) a mic they will do just that. If you give someone a podium or a stage, or even worse an audience you are in for a world of trouble. Well guess what the internet is.....it's the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with full media coverage, vip tickets, and stadium sound. It is ridiculous how a person assumes they have said something deep because they over complicate a simple worn down cliche. It is more a sad commentary on our society that we have become so mentally diluted that these clowns actually get to have a following. It pains me not to say something to these clowns, but a wise man once told me "wise men should never argue with fools, because from a distance no one can tell the difference" and on the net, everyone is at a distance.

Narcissists

I don't think Narcissus himself was in love with himself as some of those on the net are. See our ancient Greek friend never had the chance to build virtual monuments to himself, or post things only because they will draw him attention. Whether it be photos or ridiculous verbiage. People have actually complained about their experiences on social networking sites because no one has been paying them any attention. Now I could understand this gripe being legitimate when the net was young, and there were less than a million users worldwide(around 0.006% of the population) and not really many opportunities for them to network, now there are people with web access who don't have access to running water and there is a networking site for speakers of over 60 languages. All i'm saying is we have options. We don't have to pay you attention.

Groupies

For as long as there will be groups or individuals deemed important in civilized society, then there will always be groupies. Groupies are a strange sect in real life but online they are a dominant force. Contemporary society is ruled by #Team some dam body and if you are not down with the team then you get attacked. Its quite an interesting dynamic. The way I always understood groupies they were low on the totem pole, but on the net they seem to have flipped things and have become the group of importance themselves.

There are various other groups of psycho internet personalities and I actually originally intended to open this post up to submissions from my fellow net denizens. If you read this blog and would like to describe a type of internet creep you can't stand hit me in the comments and I will include your addition and site you as a source! Now let me leave you with a prophetic 90's tune by my good man James Kay aka Jamiroquai

Study LONG, Study WRONG

Pulpit or Pedestal?

I recently watched an old clip of comedian and comedy news show host Jon Stewart on crossfire. The basic premise of the visit was to discuss social responsibility in the media, and how the hosts of crossfire were not fulfilling it. I took cues from this to stop trying to fit my social commentary into the cramped confines of a Facebook status and try to actually say something.

If you are from the south and have played any of several turn based games, either cards, dominoes, horseshoes, checkers etc. there is a strong chance you have heard the phrase "study long, study wrong". It basically means, hurry up, stop over thinking because you will only end up making the wrong move anyway. An interesting concept, in that it would appear to me that there is a shred of validity to it. I feel that to act to swiftly on pure impulse is illogical and frequently leads to poor results, however on the opposite end of the spectrum one can over think an action and literally wait yourself out of your opportunity.

I felt that considering subject this phrase was the perfect lead in to this post. I am certain that I am going to walk the line of controversy. I have but one question? Given he is guilty, what would make Bishop Long any more wrong than any other person guilty of a similar crime? Oh I get it, he is a Pastor. He is held to a higher standard. He is a spiritual leader, and mentor. So let me ask you this, do these truths nullify the human condition? Did he participate in some sacred ritual removing the "Adamic Nature"(the idea that all humans have the urge towards sin) from him? Did he consume Holy Ichor or Ambrosia thus deifying him? If you say yes, then I demand proof, if not then why are we so surprised that a human being made a mistake. Now please don't take me incorrectly. I do not wish to say that if guilty, he would not be wrong. Nor am I saying that the very accusations has debased his credibility as a spiritual leader. What I am suggesting is that our level disappointment in the man is our own burden. The simple law of gravity will show us that the higher the height something is lifted the greater distance of its fall. I am of the belief that the height to which we raise our religious leaders is directly correlated with the severity of their falls. We have made monuments of these men(something the Bible speaks against) and are being crushed by them when they fall. Any and every man of God is merely a mouthpiece of the divine. They function as a mic and amp for God. They are no more or no less human than those to whom their words are directed. Now tell me how many microphones does a singer, a public speaker, a poet, or any other performer go through in a career? How many microphones are praised for their ability to carry the voice of their user? How many microphones receive the glory for what is coming through them? Then why are human microphones elevated to a level equal to the one who's message they carry? These men of God, God's mouthpiece's are imperfect, fallible, and ultimately replaceable. We must(as believers) cease and desist raising our leaders to an unnatural and superhuman level. There is an old saying that goes something like "If you have no expectations for person they can never disappoint you" inversely if you have unrealistic expectations for a person they will disappoint you in an unimaginable way. Now I am not saying that religious leaders don't have a standard to uphold or an image to portray. What I am saying is that this image can not be one of a deity. We must keep in mind the humanity of those we admire lest they disappoint us to the level that we are incapable of admiration ever again. It's time we stop placing the importance on the messenger and place more emphasis on the message. We must lift up the words, and not their handler. We have to study the the sender, and not the one that was sent. Just remember if you study Long you study wrong.

Tashakor

Introspection: Transparency

Introspection Series: Volume II

Transparency

I have always been a fan of superheros. The lore, the mythology, the power were all so attractive to me. I loved finding out that the Flash was so fast he could vibrate the molecules of his body through solid matter.I was awestruck when I found out that the Green Lanterns ring has enough power to create an energy field the size of our galaxy, that the Silver Surfer can manipulate all forms of matter, that Jean Gray could simultaneously control the minds of every human on the planet that was not either a telepath or trained to defend against them. However with all the comics I read, and all the shows I watched there were always two superpowers that stood out as supreme to me. See the issue with great power is that the responsibility can be an oppressive burden. These two powers on the other hand at least in my mind represent pure, unbridled freedom. They are flying and invisibility. There are no limitations if you are not restricted by gravity, or can not be seen by the naked(or assisted) eye.

I've had to accept that God intended for man to fly(unassisted) he would have molded wings from the clay he formed us with. So that one is out of the picture however the science community is currently developing the technology to allow human beings to be invisible to surveillance equipment through the technology of light refraction suits. The wearers body would bend light around it making it impossible for any lens to pick it up. What I am trying to achieve is a more organic type of invisibility. I strive to have people be able to purely look straight through me. Absolute transparency is the goal.

Now I'm sure you may be wondering how is this possible(and perhaps even what this post is really about) for a human being, even if their parents are glass makers. Well the truest form of organic transparency is honesty. There in as the bard would say lies the "rub". You see I had this habit that kept me from maintaining transparency. I was a habitual liar. Now some folks are subconscious fibbers, and they may not realize they have spoken an untruth. Some are habitual liars ad know it as well as those they have a habit of lying to because most habitual liars are bad at it. I on the other hand was no ordinary falsifier. I was Mickey Mouse as The Sorcerer's Apprentice in Fantasia. I could literally recreate reality. I lied so often and so well that I may have actually caused some sort of rift in the time space continuum and altered the course of people's lives. I knew I had a problem, I knew I needed to stop, but when you are good at something, I mean like truly gifted(I was the Michael Jordan of lying) at it, trying to give it up can be as futile as asking water to no longer be wet. My father said of me once "He says things so convincingly because he makes himself believe them, and you have no choice but to follow suit." It was a sad but true commentary of me. During a period of deep reflection I came to realize that the majority of my lying came from a dissatisfaction with self. I have had serious self image issues probably since the entrance of child number 2 in the extended family. I had 4 years of spoiling where there were no other children around to distract from me, but with the birth of each new child(sibling and cousins) I felt like the love for me was dwindling and I was no longer special. I decided I would start to create a new me, a projection of who I thought people would want to see. No one saw me anymore, at least not the real me. They saw the me I had manufactured for them. A me that could manipulate them into loving me, a me that needed to manipulate himself into loving me. Love of self is a journey in my mind one that I started late, not because of upbringing, or lack of nurture as that was ever present, but because of poor self image and insecurity. I had to do something for I feared I would lose myself, and never have any Identity. I think back to the words of a young woman I have always admired. She was my college queen my freshman year and she told me once after witnessing me host an event and pander to the crowds desire to see "Host ID" that I knew who I was, who I wanted and needed to be, and that I should not allow people to dictate who I would be for them. Those words got buried deep within me in 2004 and would not sprout until maybe 2008 when I realized the validity in them. Since then I have striven to do nothing more than that. I no longer needed my lies because I was finally starting to love the me that I truly was. I apologize if you met me in a time when I did not know and love myself, and thus were exposed to my fallacious deceit. I apologize if I have not made amends with you if you stuck around long enough for me to change but were still unaware of my past misdeeds. Finally I apologize to every person I have mislead, hurt, betrayed, let down, or damaged with my lies, I long for retribution, and reparation if you will have it. I greet the day now with a renewed spirit and love of myself, overjoyed at the relief of this burden.

Salaam Tashakor

This is the look I'm going for. I know the tie is not my style but otherwise this is what I want you to see when you look at me.

Band Geek Flashback

Trumpet Fan Fare

I was on some random band geek stuff while giving my brain a rest today(look ma no posts) and stumbled upon this. It is the second time I have heard it numerous times before(all by this trumpet section) but never quite like this!

Norfolk State University Dizziacs

Zebra Hunting Season

Shoot That Zebra!

For the nominal fee of $4500(per person +$250 per extra day) you and your friends can enjoy an all inclusive hunting getaway at the Texas Hunt Lodge located in Kerrville, TX. This package includes, lodging, meals, a guide, taxidermy service, meat preparation, access to a private fishing spot, and an open bar. There is even accommodations made for physically challenged hunters(yeah that's fair, and dog fighting is the most inhumane thing you could do?) including those limited to a wheelchair. Now I'm not one for hunting in the first place, but if I were I would surely want to hunt something exotic. I just don't know if its legal to shoot the breed of Zebra I am interested in hunting. See I wanna shoot the Zebras the gather in herds at sporting events. You know the ones who carry whistles and interfere with the game. I believe the scientific name is Official.

I am of the belief that were it legal to shoot official, that in this year alone the specie would have been over-hunted into extinction. Why you ask? Well if you are a sports fan, and have access to sight, hearing, and the cognitive abilities of reason and emotion than you surely must already know why. This has been, and yes I am saying this before Baseball ends, after only two weeks of the NFL, and before the NHL or NBA begin again, the WORST year in sports officiating history. We have seen blown or botched calls in all of the big 4 american sports, and for my readers across the pond(which I found out I have ^.^) we got to see international officiating debauchery on the largest sporting stage ever, The World Cup! In the NFL both Conference Championship games were compromised due to poor officiating(didn't realize sneezing on a QB counted as roughing). The entire NBA playoffs were a mess but none as much as the Finals(Technical Foul). The NCAA tournament....we shall not even speak on it I'm just glad Duke ended up winning it all. The NHL playoffs and Stanley Cup altered because of poor replay interpretation. The Officials themselves and even the FIFA officials apologizing for the debacle that was World Cup officiation(it looked like The World Poker and Kickball finals with all the cards and free kicks handed out). A perfect game lost in the MLB hell Stevie Wonder, Hellen Keller, and Ray Charles would have called that guy out! We already have a ridiculous standard starting in the new NFL season. Catch is made, player lands on the ground inbounds, players momentum moves them on the ground and eventually into a standing position, player releases ball.....Incomplete Pass. Ok class let's say it in unison WHAT! THE! F#%K!(still surprised Lions fans didn't riot). Then on this weeks MNF a NFL referee in San Francisco said that a football that landed in Oakland and then bounced to Richmond touched a SF player(ok i'm exaggerating.... a little) and we actually had to waste the time it took to challenge this idiotic call. I shudder to think what College Football, the MLB playoffs, or even *gasp* the NBA have in store for us during the remainder of this calendar year but I will tell you one thing. I am applying for my hunting license now. Going rifle shopping the day my license is approved, and flying to Kerrville(well Austin and then to Kerrville) Texas, because I am sure that at some point before now and 12:59:59 on December 31st I will need to shoot a Zebra to keep from shooting a "Zebra" or myself. *Face Palm* *SMH**Heavy Sigh*

Hump Day Hotness: My Best Friend's Girl Edition

My Best Friend's Girl....

Ok let me clear a few things up before I get into this post. First off I am not one of those guys who longs for his best friends girls. I have never been that guy and never will. My morals just will not allow it sorry. Secondly No, none of my best friends have been with celebs(to my knowledge) the correlation will be explained in greater detail down below. Now with all of that out of the way, it's Wednesday again so how about a pair of beautiful women to get us through the rest of the week? I was told that I need to allow a female guest blogger to do a segment on here about men one week in order to not be gender biased.....but ummm yeah the jury is still out on that one.

Salaam

Bloggers Note: The idea behind these posts is to praise women in a way that does not objectify them. It is my goal to bring attention to more substantial things than outer beauty.

Tashakor

Li Gong (bka Gong Li)

I have always been intrigued by South East Asian culture specifically Chinese and Japanese. I have also always been attracted to Chinese and Japanese women(FYI "Russian", "Indian", and "Middle Eastern" women are ALL Asian Women smh). I unfortunately have never had the opportunity to be in a relationship with a woman from either of these cultural groups, and ultimately learn more about a culture I have so much interest in. My best friend Manny on the other hand has(*jealous*). At either rate Li Gong(Easter culture dictates the last name be first) in my humble opinion is perhaps the most beautiful Chinese woman ever to live. She is far more talented than her American fame shows, and must have a map to the fountain of youth(she was born in1965). She gained immense american fame in 2005s "Memoirs Of a Geisha" though she has been acting since 1987. She has done numerous Chinese films, and has had roles in Hannibal Rising, and Miami Vice stateside.

Erika Glenn

Erika is one of the most fun non male one of the guys I have ever known. She is super cool, laid back and fun loving, or at least thats how she was around me. Erika is bilingual(maybe tri not sure), A law school Grad, owner of an amazing smile, and most importantly a member of the greatest Greek Lettered Organization on the planet Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Incorporated! She is also the ex of one of my best friends. I'm glad he got with her even if it didn't work out because otherwise I could not have ever shared that memory with her going to see The Dark Knight and me "accidentally" spilling my popcorn all over the super uptight girl in the row below us and her BF laughing about it(Classic)

Week 2

So I am in a great mood because the Falcons dismantled the Cardinals, In our first game playing them since they knocked us out of the playoffs 2 seasons ago. This was quite an interesting week, 2 (over rated) contenders dropped to 0-2 two Cinderellas are already beginning to polish their slippers(Miami, Chicago) and the Indomitable Reigning Champs, were thoroughly humanized. In the famous words of whiplash as played by Mickey Rourke "If you can make God bleed, no one will believe in him anymore" with that said I hope the (S)aints are ready for this sunday against the Dirty Birds! At any rate here is this past weeks results from The Premiere League and this week I am including the standings

Salaam

EAST
TEAM	W	L	T	PCT	GB
Team Antonelli	2	0	0	1.000	--
Manchester United	2	0	0	1.000	--
Jacksonville Goatees	1	1	0	.500	1
Orlando Tycoons	0	2	0	.000	2
Team BeYA	0	2	0	.000	2

WEST
TEAM	W	L	T	PCT	GB
Edison Red Raiders	2	0	0	1.000	--
New Zealand All Blacks	1	1	0	.500	1
Miami Gardens Faithful	1	1	0	.500	1
US Marines	1	1	0	.500	1
Chelsea FC	0	2	0	.000	2

US Marines (USMC) (1-1)Manny Thompson	78
Miami Gardens Faithful (MGF) (1-1)alonzo dixon	150

Team Antonelli (ANTO) (2-0)AnnMarie Antonelli	146
Team BeYA (BEYA) (0-2)MallyI BeYA	83

Chelsea FC (CHEL) (0-2)Lance Dixon	88
Edison Red Raiders (RR) (2-0)DaRon Dixon	104

New Zealand All Blacks (ALL) (1-1)Trent Lamons	168
Orlando Tycoons (OTY) (0-2)Chris Jackson	140

Manchester United (MANU) (2-0)Ian Dixon	130
Jacksonville Goatees (GOAT) (1-1)jason perry	127