He Ain't Heavy

He's My Brother

On the night of January 9th I had the pleasure(and I use that word loosely) of unloading a 75ft truck that contains the entire life(in possessions) of he and his fiance. It was a long and tedious process. it was physically strenuous. Not to mention we then proceeded to unpack the massive amount of boxes and bins that we had just unloaded. I was physically and mentally exhausted, however there was nothing I would rather do that evening(I only say that because you weren't there ;-] ) or any other night of my life. Why you may ask? Well quite simply because he is a friend that I consider to be a brother. I didn't do this because I am waiting for my turn, or because I owed him one. I did not do this because I desire him to owe me one. It is simply because we are friends and that is what "FRIENDS" do for one another. it boggles my mind how people throw the term around these days. No one understand what the true meaning is anymore. It does not mean that you go out of your way for a person, or that you stretch yourself beyond your means. It does mean that you do what you can, that you do what is within your means, and your power. It simply means, that without apology or expectation you consider with love another human being as much you desire yourself to be considered with love. One of my(only lol) readers is a perfect example. She on a daily basis gives a friend that works in the same complex as her rides home from work. This adds extra time to her departure and eventual commute but she does it because she is a great friend. These are just a pair of examples of to me how true friendship is supposed to be, and how it should be expressed. If you don't think you can live up to these criteria then that's fine, just know that I only have real friends because at 25, I am too old to have "imaginary"ones.

But there are still those in darkness
who cannot understandWhy I would share the burden
which belongs to another man.When asked, "Why weigh yourself down
with the load of another?"
I simply smile at them and say,
"He ain't heavy...he's my Brother!".

Playoffs?!?! Playoffs?!?!

Playoff Time

Today is the kick off of the NFL's second season. After what seemed like way to short a season, it is playoff time. I will not be making any picks, only cheering for my team because quite frankly the NFL has some of the most unpredictable playoffs in pro sports. I just felt like giving my opinion on what I feel are the interesting intricacies of the Wild Card Week-End match ups.

NFC

Saints at Seahawks

My emotions aside I truly feel that the visiting and favored Saints do not have a gimme game against the hosting Seahawks. Yes the Seahawks backed into the playoffs with a gaudy 7-9 record, but I actually consider that an advantage for them. They have nothing to lose and that makes them dangerous. Also consider the Saints who are a little beat up, had to travel across 3 time zones and will be playing outside in the most hostile outdoor stadium in the NFL. There is a reason they raise the 12th man flag at Qwest Field, because it is the NFL equivalent of a college stadium and its Saturday....

Packers at Eagles

I have always been a Michael Vick fan. I felt that his redemption story started, when he and his agent decided to reach out to Tony Dungy for mentorship, and should not be so invested in his W/L record as a starting QB. I think the fact that it is, puts a lot of undue pressure on the guy in his first Playoff start since 2005. Not too mention that it appears that nearly everyone is predicting the Wild-Card Packers to go all the way. I think the Pack has the defensive edge, but the Eagles have the(slight) Offensive edge. If it comes down to QB play though consider this Vick is 2-2 in the playoffs Rodgers is 0-1

AFC

Ravens at Chiefs

This game in my opinion is the biggest toss up of them all. The Chiefs are an enigma this season. They have looked Unstoppable at times and Inept at others. They kinda do everything well Run/Pass/Defend Run/Defend Pass but they do nothing great they lack a real identity. We all know that the Ravens bring an old but still world class defense to the scene but I think the lack of a Chiefs defined identity could be a problem. When you know what a team wants to do you can stop it, but when a team(like a woman) doesn't know what it wants, it can be frustrating. To me the difference in this game is the ability of the Ravens offense(which features some amazing weapons) to play on the same level(consistently) as the defense.

Jets at Colts

I will once again attempt to throw my hatred of the visiting team out the door as I analyze this game. The Jets defense is billed as one of the more stout ones in the league however as the Pats exposed they are not built to defend the kind of offense that the Colts are masters of running. That is small ball. Quick little guys running crossing routes and slants all over the field. The Jets offense is erratic but also built to give the Colts defense fits, because it is big and strong. Of course the Colts win the QB edge is an EPIC LANDSLIDE, but take this into consideration, the Jets start two players who have historically given the Colts trouble in the playoffs, Ladanian Tomlison, and Antonio Cromartie

Spotlight Friday: Digging The Well

I wanted to post this little musical photo gallery to show you some of what I have been doing over at the Well Of Hope. There are a few pics of the progression of the building remodel and a few pics of what I have been up to with the youth of the church. Hope you enjoy =)

Taboo: Tupperware

Tupperware

We all have them, In some way shape form or fashion. They have been acquired through various means, and serve a myriad of purposes. Yes I am talking about those airtight re-sealable plastic containers that we all keep in that special drawer, cabinet, or shelf. Most of the ones I own were secured of Shen-Long Chinese restaurant and their insanely delicious hot and sour soup. Others I purchased, and some were just kept after someone gave me food in them. Nevertheless they are now permanent fixtures in my life. Now if you have ever read any of my previous posts you already know that this post is not about plasticware. It is in fact about a characteristic of said plasticware, that being its airtight sealing ability. It's the biggest draw to these containers, after them being both microwavable and dishwasher safe.Their airtightness is what gives them the ability to preserve and protect what is inside of them. Which brings me to the core purpose of this post. That airtight protection, and how it is achieved. No not for your food, but for your alibi! If you have ever been late somewhere. If you have ever not met a deadline, or been caught speeding, or caught in any situation where you would be required to get yourself off the hook then you have created an alibi before. Some alibis(i.e. the dog ate my homework) are terrible and predictable, and will probably never work. However there are some alibis that ate lead pipe locks to work. Now the vast majority of these require proof for validation purposes. Like if you say you were ill, you may need a doctors note. If you were mourning a passing, you may be asked to present a death certificate, or Obituary. There is an upper echelon of alibi though. Ones that will be believed with no proof necessary. An airtight, solid and dare I say perfect alibi. I securely know of only one of these and there are only a handful of persons that can use it. Those persons being my male friends, and that Alibi being "I was with Ian"(I pray none of my buddies ladies read this lmao). Now it has been a blessing and a curse that every woman any of my friends has been with has taken to me. Some have even gone as far as to say I'm their favorite Bro In Law(awww). However this comes with great responsibility, see these women trust me with the care of their guy, when they are not around. I get a lot of, "Ian keep him out of trouble ok" or "Ian you'll look out for him right?" from them. It's actually quite amusing at times. It can be advantageous because I can use myself as a trump card. If we are having trouble getting a buddy out of the house, we(or I) simply tell his lady that I will be there and she folds. Its almost like a golden ticket. I guess the thing that makes this all so humorous is that up until maybe recent history(the past year) I was the "wild child" in the group. I guess the thing that set me apart was that all of these women understand the seriousness by which I approach relationships, and their sanctity. The downside is that the alibi also works, when I don't know whats going on. Yes "I was with Ian" has been used without my knowledge. It can be frustrating to find out after the fact but I suppose there is not much I can do besides at my buddies to at least give me a heads up. I don't really want to ruin my place as the airtight alibi, I just want to actually be there when we are all hanging out with me ya know? So fellas if you didn't realize this before know ya know, and ladies I am still to be trusted! Salaam

And The Oscar Goes To

And The Oscar Goes To...

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I love movies. Movies of all types from documentaries, to classics I love them all(ok maybe not corny Rom-Coms) However one aspect of the movie watching experience I have come to completely despise is the awards. Ok not all the awards because recently I have fallen in love with the Golden Globes, and their penchant for actually rewarding talent and ability, and not being hand cuffed by diplomacy, and bureaucracy. The Oscars on the other hand have been consistently disappointing me for years. First lets step back and address to me what is the greater issue. Why is there a such thing as an award given for an art form that can ONLY be subjectively judged. Yes I know saying this would open an entirely new can of worms that I am not prepared to mess with. I know that awards like the Pulitzer, The Tony's, and *sneer* The Grammys(which I hate by the way also) are also based on subjective judgment. I am asking this though, why are expressions of art like plays, movies, books, and music the only ones we butcher by placing the pressure of having to be "award" caliber in order to maintain relevancy? Why not sculpture, and painting? How about architecture or cooking? For that matter lets make an award for everything that we as a society have an subjective opinion of? If it sounds ridiculous thats because it simply is. There is no legit criteria for award something that is based in opinion. The big issue is who's opinion is more valuable than the person who is interpreting the art form. Academy of Film what makes you the supreme authority on what is quality and what is not? What makes your opinion of a film hold more merit than mine? I do appreciate the few awards out there that weigh in consensus opinions because at least that gives us an idea of what the majority of people feel but who is to say that even they are correct. Thats the beautiful thing about opinions, we all get to have one. Like it or not, agree with it or no the person who thinks your favorite movie is trash is allowed to think so! So how with so opinions out there are we able to have an awards system that is designed to stifle opinions? i know my random rant won't change anything. I also realize that maybe in some twisted way the awards keep some actors employed since the same people don't win them every year. I would just for once see a real uninhibited piece of artistic expression be recognized, appreciated and lifted up rather than seeing writers and directors force themselves through cookie cutter criteria in order to be considered for the damned Oscars. I know I will probably never see this my life time but what I do know is that if Christian Bale gets an Oscar for playing himself in The Fighter I will have an EFFING ANEURYSM!!!

Introspection: The Giving Tree

Introspection Series: Volume III

"The Giving Tree"

We are all(or at least those of us who have had a decent childhood) familiar with the Shel Silverstein book by the same title. I personally must have read it a thousand times. No literally the first copy I owned was read until disintegration. I gave myself to that book until it just couldn't take it anymore and fell apart under the weight of my voracity. I don't remember at what age exactly I initially read the book but I am certain that upon completing it I had just read my own biography as told to me by Mr. Silverstein. See I like the tree in the book had a thing for giving. Now as a young person, or as a very emotionally driven person you may see the actions of the tree as loving and caring and generous. I would agree with you 100% on these points, however after deeper examination of the story I realize the scary self destructive potential that this particular level of giving possesses. To the degree that it could be a fault. It is a fine line to walk. On that one may find is increasingly unclear, as the journey continues. See in the book, all the tree wanted to do was be loved back, and so it gave of itself because it loved and desired reciprocity. This is an entirely different conversation(and possibly blog post) in itself, if we try to determine if gestures of love are merely attempts to receive reciprocated affection. In the interest of time and space, lets move on. The previous theory was a very common one about me however I can honestly say that my motivation for my giving nature is not such. There is something about me that just hates to see those around me without. I have a tendency to give and give of myself until, I have nothing left for me. For a long time this was very self destructive. Most recently so in the last serious relationship I was in. It is never a good mix for a person that is needy to be with a person that is giving. It is a toxic symbiosis for both parties involved. I would do and do and do some more. For her, her family, her friends until I burned out. I got to a point where I felt taken advantage of and began to refuse. something that was alien to me. These out of character actions would not last long though as I quickly fell back into to my traditional role of giver. It became unhealthy and it was obvious to everyone around me, save for myself. I had to have a true awakening, and come to the realization that though I wanted to give her the world I could not at the expense of well....my world. Needless to say I had to re evaluate and reset. We wound up broken up. It was at this point that I approached giving with a new attitude. I still desired to give everyone I loved everything they ever wanted but, I realized that I needed to put myself in a better position to do so. I could not just wallow in the mire of my situation. I had to use my desire to give as a motivational tool. I must better myself, and put myself in a better position to give. I had to realize that those who I care about(and who care for me) have a strong desire to see me succeed, and have personal happiness. I had to learn to be concerned with self and strive for personal gain(to a degree at least). I still have a tendency every once in a while to over extend myself in an attempt to give to another but I am no longer hypnotically controlled by these desires. I unlike the tree have learned to give of myself without destroying myself in the process. In the end, It is ME that my loved ones truly desire....

Salaam

And the tree was happy

Evangeline

"Evangeline"

Lovers and fighters, from the inception of of history

have looked to the night sky for blessings of victory

and I being both thought to do much of the same

shout to the sky and make the stars write my name

but as my gaze affixed on the bright lights on heavens lawn

my eyes met a light that was so bright I became like a fawn

or a buck either a deer in the headlights in awe of sheer glory

so much so I have to dedicate time to telling the story

You see as my eyes locked on this distant beauty I was done

She smiled at me a smile as bright and furious as the sun

I call it a smile because the her twinkle changed as my gaze began

as if this star realized that it was being watched by its new biggest fan

I knew it was a smile because I could feel the warmth she gave

and i knew for fact that this was not how stars usually behave

I stared at the sky that night until the next night came

and I could feel her staring back at me the feeling still the same

and though we were separated by thousands of miles

our passion for each other is one for historical files

we communicated in a way that only we understood

our love like a hearth her the fire me the wood

I often wonder do I shine as bright to her as she does to me

Does she realize that I nightly pray for wings to make me free

I would pierce the heavens and traverse the void of space

There's no end to the end I would go just to see her face

I'd fight and scrap and struggle tooth and nail

determined that this in this battle I will prevail

I will give an effort like none that has ever been seen

because I have fallen in love with my own Evangeline

Star light

Star bright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have this wish I wish tonight