Taboo: Tupperware

Tupperware

We all have them, In some way shape form or fashion. They have been acquired through various means, and serve a myriad of purposes. Yes I am talking about those airtight re-sealable plastic containers that we all keep in that special drawer, cabinet, or shelf. Most of the ones I own were secured of Shen-Long Chinese restaurant and their insanely delicious hot and sour soup. Others I purchased, and some were just kept after someone gave me food in them. Nevertheless they are now permanent fixtures in my life. Now if you have ever read any of my previous posts you already know that this post is not about plasticware. It is in fact about a characteristic of said plasticware, that being its airtight sealing ability. It's the biggest draw to these containers, after them being both microwavable and dishwasher safe.Their airtightness is what gives them the ability to preserve and protect what is inside of them. Which brings me to the core purpose of this post. That airtight protection, and how it is achieved. No not for your food, but for your alibi! If you have ever been late somewhere. If you have ever not met a deadline, or been caught speeding, or caught in any situation where you would be required to get yourself off the hook then you have created an alibi before. Some alibis(i.e. the dog ate my homework) are terrible and predictable, and will probably never work. However there are some alibis that ate lead pipe locks to work. Now the vast majority of these require proof for validation purposes. Like if you say you were ill, you may need a doctors note. If you were mourning a passing, you may be asked to present a death certificate, or Obituary. There is an upper echelon of alibi though. Ones that will be believed with no proof necessary. An airtight, solid and dare I say perfect alibi. I securely know of only one of these and there are only a handful of persons that can use it. Those persons being my male friends, and that Alibi being "I was with Ian"(I pray none of my buddies ladies read this lmao). Now it has been a blessing and a curse that every woman any of my friends has been with has taken to me. Some have even gone as far as to say I'm their favorite Bro In Law(awww). However this comes with great responsibility, see these women trust me with the care of their guy, when they are not around. I get a lot of, "Ian keep him out of trouble ok" or "Ian you'll look out for him right?" from them. It's actually quite amusing at times. It can be advantageous because I can use myself as a trump card. If we are having trouble getting a buddy out of the house, we(or I) simply tell his lady that I will be there and she folds. Its almost like a golden ticket. I guess the thing that makes this all so humorous is that up until maybe recent history(the past year) I was the "wild child" in the group. I guess the thing that set me apart was that all of these women understand the seriousness by which I approach relationships, and their sanctity. The downside is that the alibi also works, when I don't know whats going on. Yes "I was with Ian" has been used without my knowledge. It can be frustrating to find out after the fact but I suppose there is not much I can do besides at my buddies to at least give me a heads up. I don't really want to ruin my place as the airtight alibi, I just want to actually be there when we are all hanging out with me ya know? So fellas if you didn't realize this before know ya know, and ladies I am still to be trusted! Salaam