Long Division

Divisional Round

The Divisional round in the NFL playoffs can be more of a precursor to the Super Bowl than the Conference Championship games. The Divisional round shows us which top seeds benefited from the BYE, and which ones were hindered by it. It shows up which Cinderellas still have time left at the ball, and which ones carriages are becoming pumpkins. Quite frankly this is the round where the men get separated from the boys.

Ravens at Steelers

What happens when the biggest meanest kid on your block, pick a fight with the biggest meanest kid on the next block? Well the NFL equivalent of this fight is the Ravens/Steelers game(s). Boasted as 2 of the most physical teams in the league on offense and defense this matchup is traditionally one of the greatest competitions ever. I believe though that the "finesse" game of either team is what will make the difference. We know that both teams want to be physical and aggressive and attack the line of scrimmage. However I think who ever can get a screen game or some kind of underneath passing game will gain the edge on the other teams aggressive approach

Packers at Falcons

I will try my best not to let my emotions infiltrate this analysis. The Packers have been proving their backers right in the way they dismantled the host Eagles last week. The big question for Green Bay is can they do it again. They do boast one of the most stout defenses in the NFC, however during the regular season the Falcons multi-faceted Offense gave the Packers D, fits. The X factor this time will be running games. Whichever team can establish a consistent running attack will be in the drivers seat early.

Seahawks at Bears

The Seahawks were a remarkable story last week, even though with the victory they still maintain a sub .500 record. The cards were stacked in the Seahawks favor last week, this week they have to literally win this game. They have beaten the Bears before, however it was early in the season. Now the Bears have looked much better with much more consistency since that game. However they have still had the customary Bears stretches of looking terrible on Offense. The difference in this game is mental. Which team can come with a intensity and desire to win that is greater than the others.

Jets at Patriots

Another game where I must put my emotions aside, because I'd love to see a situation where both teams lose but it's not possible. I have always said that the 2 teams in the AFC that run an Offense designed to counter act the Jets D are the Colts and The Pats. Last week The Colts were not running on all cylinders and were knocked off. I don't think the Patriots will be as unprepared. If the Jets can overcome the Home Field advantage, and the preparedness and still repeat last weeks performance then they can leave with a win, if not then we will have a repeat of the regular season matchup in the Meadowlands

He Ain't Heavy

He's My Brother

On the night of January 9th I had the pleasure(and I use that word loosely) of unloading a 75ft truck that contains the entire life(in possessions) of he and his fiance. It was a long and tedious process. it was physically strenuous. Not to mention we then proceeded to unpack the massive amount of boxes and bins that we had just unloaded. I was physically and mentally exhausted, however there was nothing I would rather do that evening(I only say that because you weren't there ;-] ) or any other night of my life. Why you may ask? Well quite simply because he is a friend that I consider to be a brother. I didn't do this because I am waiting for my turn, or because I owed him one. I did not do this because I desire him to owe me one. It is simply because we are friends and that is what "FRIENDS" do for one another. it boggles my mind how people throw the term around these days. No one understand what the true meaning is anymore. It does not mean that you go out of your way for a person, or that you stretch yourself beyond your means. It does mean that you do what you can, that you do what is within your means, and your power. It simply means, that without apology or expectation you consider with love another human being as much you desire yourself to be considered with love. One of my(only lol) readers is a perfect example. She on a daily basis gives a friend that works in the same complex as her rides home from work. This adds extra time to her departure and eventual commute but she does it because she is a great friend. These are just a pair of examples of to me how true friendship is supposed to be, and how it should be expressed. If you don't think you can live up to these criteria then that's fine, just know that I only have real friends because at 25, I am too old to have "imaginary"ones.

But there are still those in darkness
who cannot understandWhy I would share the burden
which belongs to another man.When asked, "Why weigh yourself down
with the load of another?"
I simply smile at them and say,
"He ain't heavy...he's my Brother!".

Taboo: Tupperware

Tupperware

We all have them, In some way shape form or fashion. They have been acquired through various means, and serve a myriad of purposes. Yes I am talking about those airtight re-sealable plastic containers that we all keep in that special drawer, cabinet, or shelf. Most of the ones I own were secured of Shen-Long Chinese restaurant and their insanely delicious hot and sour soup. Others I purchased, and some were just kept after someone gave me food in them. Nevertheless they are now permanent fixtures in my life. Now if you have ever read any of my previous posts you already know that this post is not about plasticware. It is in fact about a characteristic of said plasticware, that being its airtight sealing ability. It's the biggest draw to these containers, after them being both microwavable and dishwasher safe.Their airtightness is what gives them the ability to preserve and protect what is inside of them. Which brings me to the core purpose of this post. That airtight protection, and how it is achieved. No not for your food, but for your alibi! If you have ever been late somewhere. If you have ever not met a deadline, or been caught speeding, or caught in any situation where you would be required to get yourself off the hook then you have created an alibi before. Some alibis(i.e. the dog ate my homework) are terrible and predictable, and will probably never work. However there are some alibis that ate lead pipe locks to work. Now the vast majority of these require proof for validation purposes. Like if you say you were ill, you may need a doctors note. If you were mourning a passing, you may be asked to present a death certificate, or Obituary. There is an upper echelon of alibi though. Ones that will be believed with no proof necessary. An airtight, solid and dare I say perfect alibi. I securely know of only one of these and there are only a handful of persons that can use it. Those persons being my male friends, and that Alibi being "I was with Ian"(I pray none of my buddies ladies read this lmao). Now it has been a blessing and a curse that every woman any of my friends has been with has taken to me. Some have even gone as far as to say I'm their favorite Bro In Law(awww). However this comes with great responsibility, see these women trust me with the care of their guy, when they are not around. I get a lot of, "Ian keep him out of trouble ok" or "Ian you'll look out for him right?" from them. It's actually quite amusing at times. It can be advantageous because I can use myself as a trump card. If we are having trouble getting a buddy out of the house, we(or I) simply tell his lady that I will be there and she folds. Its almost like a golden ticket. I guess the thing that makes this all so humorous is that up until maybe recent history(the past year) I was the "wild child" in the group. I guess the thing that set me apart was that all of these women understand the seriousness by which I approach relationships, and their sanctity. The downside is that the alibi also works, when I don't know whats going on. Yes "I was with Ian" has been used without my knowledge. It can be frustrating to find out after the fact but I suppose there is not much I can do besides at my buddies to at least give me a heads up. I don't really want to ruin my place as the airtight alibi, I just want to actually be there when we are all hanging out with me ya know? So fellas if you didn't realize this before know ya know, and ladies I am still to be trusted! Salaam

Evangeline

"Evangeline"

Lovers and fighters, from the inception of of history

have looked to the night sky for blessings of victory

and I being both thought to do much of the same

shout to the sky and make the stars write my name

but as my gaze affixed on the bright lights on heavens lawn

my eyes met a light that was so bright I became like a fawn

or a buck either a deer in the headlights in awe of sheer glory

so much so I have to dedicate time to telling the story

You see as my eyes locked on this distant beauty I was done

She smiled at me a smile as bright and furious as the sun

I call it a smile because the her twinkle changed as my gaze began

as if this star realized that it was being watched by its new biggest fan

I knew it was a smile because I could feel the warmth she gave

and i knew for fact that this was not how stars usually behave

I stared at the sky that night until the next night came

and I could feel her staring back at me the feeling still the same

and though we were separated by thousands of miles

our passion for each other is one for historical files

we communicated in a way that only we understood

our love like a hearth her the fire me the wood

I often wonder do I shine as bright to her as she does to me

Does she realize that I nightly pray for wings to make me free

I would pierce the heavens and traverse the void of space

There's no end to the end I would go just to see her face

I'd fight and scrap and struggle tooth and nail

determined that this in this battle I will prevail

I will give an effort like none that has ever been seen

because I have fallen in love with my own Evangeline

Star light

Star bright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may, I wish I might

Have this wish I wish tonight

Introspection: Transparency

Introspection Series: Volume II

Transparency

I have always been a fan of superheros. The lore, the mythology, the power were all so attractive to me. I loved finding out that the Flash was so fast he could vibrate the molecules of his body through solid matter.I was awestruck when I found out that the Green Lanterns ring has enough power to create an energy field the size of our galaxy, that the Silver Surfer can manipulate all forms of matter, that Jean Gray could simultaneously control the minds of every human on the planet that was not either a telepath or trained to defend against them. However with all the comics I read, and all the shows I watched there were always two superpowers that stood out as supreme to me. See the issue with great power is that the responsibility can be an oppressive burden. These two powers on the other hand at least in my mind represent pure, unbridled freedom. They are flying and invisibility. There are no limitations if you are not restricted by gravity, or can not be seen by the naked(or assisted) eye.

I've had to accept that God intended for man to fly(unassisted) he would have molded wings from the clay he formed us with. So that one is out of the picture however the science community is currently developing the technology to allow human beings to be invisible to surveillance equipment through the technology of light refraction suits. The wearers body would bend light around it making it impossible for any lens to pick it up. What I am trying to achieve is a more organic type of invisibility. I strive to have people be able to purely look straight through me. Absolute transparency is the goal.

Now I'm sure you may be wondering how is this possible(and perhaps even what this post is really about) for a human being, even if their parents are glass makers. Well the truest form of organic transparency is honesty. There in as the bard would say lies the "rub". You see I had this habit that kept me from maintaining transparency. I was a habitual liar. Now some folks are subconscious fibbers, and they may not realize they have spoken an untruth. Some are habitual liars ad know it as well as those they have a habit of lying to because most habitual liars are bad at it. I on the other hand was no ordinary falsifier. I was Mickey Mouse as The Sorcerer's Apprentice in Fantasia. I could literally recreate reality. I lied so often and so well that I may have actually caused some sort of rift in the time space continuum and altered the course of people's lives. I knew I had a problem, I knew I needed to stop, but when you are good at something, I mean like truly gifted(I was the Michael Jordan of lying) at it, trying to give it up can be as futile as asking water to no longer be wet. My father said of me once "He says things so convincingly because he makes himself believe them, and you have no choice but to follow suit." It was a sad but true commentary of me. During a period of deep reflection I came to realize that the majority of my lying came from a dissatisfaction with self. I have had serious self image issues probably since the entrance of child number 2 in the extended family. I had 4 years of spoiling where there were no other children around to distract from me, but with the birth of each new child(sibling and cousins) I felt like the love for me was dwindling and I was no longer special. I decided I would start to create a new me, a projection of who I thought people would want to see. No one saw me anymore, at least not the real me. They saw the me I had manufactured for them. A me that could manipulate them into loving me, a me that needed to manipulate himself into loving me. Love of self is a journey in my mind one that I started late, not because of upbringing, or lack of nurture as that was ever present, but because of poor self image and insecurity. I had to do something for I feared I would lose myself, and never have any Identity. I think back to the words of a young woman I have always admired. She was my college queen my freshman year and she told me once after witnessing me host an event and pander to the crowds desire to see "Host ID" that I knew who I was, who I wanted and needed to be, and that I should not allow people to dictate who I would be for them. Those words got buried deep within me in 2004 and would not sprout until maybe 2008 when I realized the validity in them. Since then I have striven to do nothing more than that. I no longer needed my lies because I was finally starting to love the me that I truly was. I apologize if you met me in a time when I did not know and love myself, and thus were exposed to my fallacious deceit. I apologize if I have not made amends with you if you stuck around long enough for me to change but were still unaware of my past misdeeds. Finally I apologize to every person I have mislead, hurt, betrayed, let down, or damaged with my lies, I long for retribution, and reparation if you will have it. I greet the day now with a renewed spirit and love of myself, overjoyed at the relief of this burden.

Salaam Tashakor

This is the look I'm going for. I know the tie is not my style but otherwise this is what I want you to see when you look at me.

Short Story Series: Vol. 1 Chptr. 3

"In Your Dreams"

I sit up in the bed that once belonged to my son Nicholas. I sit for long moments pondering how long I'm going to put myself through this. On any other morning I would in the shower contemplating running out and jumping off the second floor balcony headfirst. An act I have been too much a coward to commit for the past two years. Instead I am in the downstairs bathroom dreading the idea of having to go to the psychiatrist today for family grief counseling. I know Rachel is upstairs getting ready, where she would normally be absent due to work. Both of our jobs have given us every Friday off for the past 2 years to attend these ridiculous sessions. Its hard to think anyone gave that much of a dam. I brush my teeth and splash some water on my face, I think about shaving and decided not to. I have no one to keep up pretenses for. I don't even iron my shirt before putting back on yesterdays slacks. I make my way down stairs and Rachel is sitting in the dining room back to the china cabinet, sipping coffee. She was sitting where Nicholas used to sit. Did she realize? Did she even care? Did she ever care? I stop myself from going on in any further for both of our safeties. I motion to her that we should go. We get in the car and drive across town to the doctors office. I hate driving by myself, it is a lonely feeling, and being in the car with Rachel is no better. We don't even look at each other for the entire ride. After the longest 20 minute ride in history we get to the office with about 10 minutes before the appointment. The receptionist is probably the sweetest human being alive but I am unable to ever reciprocate because my heart is just too filled with pain to respond to positive emotion. A few awkward moments pass before our name is called. The room is so bright, I will never understand why there is all this florescent lighting in here. We sit and Rachel begins to speak. She never addresses me directly but she is telling the doctor that I am withdrawn, and walk around in a constant daze. That I have almost no responsiveness at times, and am basically a ghost in the home. Dr. Falconer has heard it all before so he is not surprised. After all he has been seeing us weekly for months. Today though his normal demeanor is altered. He has a very determined look on his face. "Virgil have you ever been hypnotized? I mean have any of the previous doctors tried hypnosis treatment with you?" I was a bit stunned by the question, I had to think harder than I thought was necessary before admitting that it had never been done. "Virgil if you are willing I will try hypnosis and suggestion, to access your deepest thoughts and find out why it is you feel so disconnected from this reality." I follow the doctors direction. I stretch out on the couch. I relax my breathing. I begin to clear my mind. I can hear the sound of water running. I open my eyes and see a device that looks like a water wheel that is constantly cycling water. "Virgil close your eyes and just listen to the water pour and flow over the wheels." I once again place my trust in Dr. Falconers hands. It is mere seconds before I feel my consciousness slip.

I am abruptly woken up. It is late at night and its pouring down raining outside. I can hear a loud ringing in my ears. I am panicking until I realize that its the phone. Can no one else here it? I look over at Rachel, and she is catatonic. I get out of the bed and walk over to the night table that the phone is sitting on. I pick it up and am surprised to hear Dr. Falconer's voice on the other end. "Virgil can you hear me?" I barely can there must be something wrong with his phone. "Yes but not clearly doc." Almost as if on cue the rain stops. "How about now Virgil can you here me better now" His voice is now crystal clear.....did he just stop the rain? "Yes I hear you perfectly now doc." This is odd, but before I can ask why the doctor has called me at such a late hour he begins questioning me. "Virgil where are you?" Thats a silly question he called my home phone. "I'm at home doc, I was in bed its very late you know" I try to hint at him that this is beginning to ware on me. "I apologize Virgil, just a few more quick questions. Where is Rachel at?" I wonder how any of this is relevant at this hour. "She in bed asleep doc, just like I was. Our appointment is for later this morning right?" I can hear the doctor talking to what sounds like a sobbing woman in the background. "Yes Virgil correct, that is correct. One more question. Where is Nicholas?" I can't understand why the doctor has all of these irrelevant questions. "He is downstairs in his room asleep doctor, what is this about Dr. Falconer?" I can hear him comforting the sobbing woman again, who is now bawling. I am really confused now. "Nothing Virgil, I apologize for disturbing you at such a late hour. We will speak in more depth in a few hours. Just lay back down and let the rain sooth you back asleep." "But Doc it's not rain..." I drop the phone before I can finish my sentence. The rain had started again. I can't sleep now, I am far to disturbed. How was Dr. Falconer controlling the weather? What were those questions about?I walk towards the balcony sliding door but as my hand touches the bar to slide it open I hear two loud crashes and collapse to the floor.

I awake to the sound of the doctor snapping his fingers, and of course the water wheel. There is another sound. A whimpering noise. I look over and see Rachel clutching a handkerchief to her face as she lightly cries. She is looking at me as though I had just transformed into a human sized insect. I turn to Dr. Falconer with a sincere look of confusion on my face. He paused just long enough to stop the water wheel. "Virgil we had an excellent session today. I will let you and Rachel go early today." We stand to leave but the doctor grabs me by the arm once Rachel has exited the room. He pulls me back in and looks me square in the face. "Be sure to be completely honest with me when we speak later Virgil" I of course have no idea what he means, but before I can ask he shows me out the door once again. "See you later Virgil, excellent session" This peculiar session is stuck in my mind the entire ride home. I am mentally preoccupied by it. So much so that I hardly notice Rachel staring at me. I turn to her as if to ask her what it is she wants. "Virgil? are you in there still" I stare back her until the light turns green, and drive all the way home never looking her way again. Why would the doctor stress me being honest with him, and what did he mean by when we speak later.....

America's Most Wanted

Wanted: Dead Or Alive

I must admit that as a child this was one of my favorite shows to watch when I was younger. I thought it was so cool to see some of the stuff, people did to make the list. The crimes were anywhere from Ingenious, to Insane, to down right Idiotic! I never thought though, that I would end up on one of these lists. I would, on the evening of my 25th birthday, that I was sadly mistaken. I may as we speak be on one of the most dangerous criminal lists in the world. I am being hunted by perhaps one the most powerful organizations on the planet. I am wanted, for crimes against none other than.......Whole Foods Market!(dun dun dunnnnn) Seriously though. They are in hot pursuit of me, and if you fear that you may be personally implicated by reading this post, you can stop now. Thanks for sticking with me guys!(even though some of yal got warrants) Now lets back track a bit. I am given this idea to participate in a private cooking demonstration, and then have a dinner party with said food. Sounds like a golden idea. I call my local whole foods market up(wait you heard this part in "The Natural") and arrange things. Ok so lets skip to the day of the event. Now for those who know me, know that I am a stickler for time. I strive to get everywhere early, right on time at the absolute latest. However since moving to a new city I live with a Human who has no concept of time(>.<). Needless to say, its the day of the event and we are running late. So I do the proactive thing and call ahead to let the good people know that I would be late. After a strange verbal exchange me and the shifty(their word not mine) on duty came to an understanding. I explained I would be arriving with my guests anywhere between 6:30 and 7:00 pm. As it would turn out we would have another hiccup and end up about 15 minutes later than that. I receive a call from a flustered sounding young woman, asking me if I was still coming as it was then a quarter after 7. I told her yes, but after a short in car meeting decided against it, because we would be missing the demonstration because the chef department was busy and she would have to start cooking the food. I make the phone call(pronounced 3 phone calls) and get the major run around before finally explaining I wouldn't be making it. We make other plans and are actually stepping out of the parked car at the restaurant we decided to go to when I get a call back from the Marketplace. In this phone call I get asked if there is no way that I can make it because the food(yes the food that was just starting to be cooked) was already done, and the market is not prepared to front the bill.(some $200) Now here are my issues. First off, why did you lie to me about the readiness level of the food? Honesty there could have greatly changed the final verdict. Secondly, why was this not discussed during the first cancellation convo? Finally and importantly, lets say I am a truly uncaring prick, you never got any info on me, you never had me fill out any paperwork, so ummm whats to stop me from just saying "tough tittie"? I mean it's the night of my 25th birthday and you really expect me to remember to call you on TUESDAY(a full 3 days later) Well since I am not calling and they have none of my information(besides my first name and phone number) I will have to assume I am being placed on the international Whole Foods Most wanted list. I have only two requests, don't judge me, and if I call you and say I need you to pick me up from the grocer.....just come.

Waste Managment

Waste Management

With both college and pro football seasons both swiftly approaching, I thought it was only fair of me to help those sports fans out there who might feel bold enough to participate in an open debate about sports. As we all know the majority of these debates begin with what we believe is harmless trash talk and ends in you betting your annual salary on the Cowboys to beat my Falcons(I won and was never paid smh oh yeah and I was maybe 12 at the time) Any true sports fan(atic) has been there, and if you haven't trust your time is coming soon. The way you protect yourself is to be able to back up your trash talk with solid and sound debate skills. Now mind you no matter the level of your knowledge or debate ability, your team losing negates any verbal victory you may have gained, and earns you an uninhibited tongue lashing. This guide, however will help you in case you encounter(while in a casual debate) some of your more dangerous sports debaters. In fat how about I discuss The 4 Horsemen Of Sports Debate Apocalypse

1. "Guru"

Professor Stephen Hawking is a theoretical physicist, he has such a knowledge of the way the world scientifically works that there are people who are actually interested in eating his brain when he passes away. We can agree that he knows everything about about physics that there is to know, Guru is the Stephen Hawking of Sports. This guy is dangerous in that he knows the 7th leading receiver on the Cleveland Browns......Eric Mangini(The Browns Coach) doesn't even have this knowledge. This guy knows who your favorite team cut to create their 52 man roster, he knows every Yankees starting line-up for every World Series, he knows the shooting percentage of the third string point guard from the Charlotte Bobcats first season in the league. He knows EVERYTHING!

2. "Cyclops"

The Kansas Jayhawks are going to win the College Football National Championship! The Los Angeles Kings will win the Stanley Cup! The Tibetan Soccer Team will win the World Cup! Okay I know Tibet doesn't have a soccer team. However if they did, I am sure they would soon gain a Cyclops. A Cyclops is a fan who has tunnel vision when it comes to fandom. They see their team as a marvel of sports perfection and can not envision a reality where they are not the best team in their respective league. The cyclops is dangerous in that he can only understand positive things involving his team. You can't introduce any new concepts to this guy because all he knows is his team. Be careful when opposing a Cyclops as they have the great potential to become a "Vesuvius"

3. "Letter-Man"

This guy will one day be some leagues coach of the year, decade, and all century. He played ball in high school but couldn't transfer his game to the next level. So he watches and critiques every single bit of game film he can get his hands on. He gorges on it, his desire for offensive scheme signals, defensive shifts, and special teams assignments is insatiable. He will argue anyone down that the way the coaches(yes the ones for the teams with the million dollar salaries) don't know what they are doing. He has no time to discuss players or their ability, have you seen the hideous formation the Northwestern's Lacrosse team is running? This guy will drive you nuts with Xs and Os and no sweetheart I ain't talkin hugs and kisses

4. "Vesuvius"

Yes the explosive and destructive Italian volcano. It is well known fact that it got its name from this guy. Vesuvius is that guy who is waiting to blow his top at the drop of a dime. You say something he disagrees with and he will explode in to a cataclysmic rage incinerating all who are unfortunate enough to be in the destructive path of his vocal magma. He will yell, scream, curse, flail, he may even throw something. He is usually a Cyclops that has endured talk of a team other than his, well beyond his boiling point. In fact all of the four horseman possess the ability to become a Vesuvius if provoked to the right end. Try not to get this guy angry.....you wouldn't like him when he's angry

Ok now that you have seen what you are up against allow me to lay down a few basic rules for survival, to keep your trash talking from leading to your decapitation.

1. Do your best to keep the trash talk/debate friendly and cordial. The freaks only feel comfortable in certain levels of dischord

2.Try to stay away from poor taste and bad humor. If its not funny it might be offensive. You never want to ignite one of the 4 horsemen by insulting him

3. never kick a man when he is down. If a guys team has just suffered a tough loss don't provoke him unless you are prepared to become the verbal equivalent of Guile(Blonde Guy in fatigues) in this clip

4. Stay in your lane. Know your strong suits and only participate in discussions involving them

5. Spread the love/hate. never just trash talk one guy, or one team, or one city. You don't want to have to tell your wife you can never visit the Rock H.O.F. because the entire city of Cleveland hates you

6. Do your homework. The best trash talk is that which is undeniably true. However do the research to make sure you are well armed.

7. Be aware and well versed in the use of the bait and switch. Start off by saying something positive, and then completely slam a guy.

8. Never, Ever, Ever, EVER, try to argue the validity of any undefeated season(complete or regular) it is pointless, and hey you just have to give up something sometimes

9. Be weary of attacking a fan of a team yours just lost too. You will come off as bitter.

10. Own your trash talking! Say what you mean, and mean what you say! Be prepared for all consequences and DO NOT Punk out from what you said!

Keep these in mind, and you should be able to avoid death at one of the four horseman's tongues.(pause) Try to follow them, and you should be just fine. Remember its all in fun, if you ever get on a high horse keep in mind you run the risk of becoming one of the aforementioned freaks!

Randy Couture

"The Natural"

Lovers of UFC will know exactly who Randy "The Natural" Couture is. However for those who may not here is some help. Ok up to speed now? Great well this post isn't about Randy at all(sorry if you read that entire bio) but about his in ring moniker. Ok I lied again its really more about the concept behind the nick name. The idea is that he is such a talented fighter, and has such a unique and athletic build that he doesn't have to try. Fighting simply comes naturally to him. That is what I am talking about, not fighting but acting natural. Things just naturally coming to you. In my case fitting in environments where others would not feel comfortable. Today I had a 1 o clock appointment with a certain Shera the assistant marketing director of The Whole Foods Market near to me. I am planning a little shindig(WTF does this phrase mean!?!?!?) for my birthday. So needless to say I was depending on a person who has no concept of time to get me there(I'm sorry I'm still tripping. Wouldn't having your shin dug into hurt like sh*t?) and needless to say we got there late. It was cool though cause it was only by about 3 and a half hours it was mad cool. I got there an clearly Shera had gone home for the day, but after being passed around for a while from employee to employee I ended in the hands of Vicki(stop laughing L!) who showed me the room I'd be using for my fucntion, and explained that it would look different because tonight they were setting up for a launch party(hmmm) for Edible Orlando Magazine(HMMMM) and that Shera would be there in a few, would I mind waiting(HHHHMMMMMMMM). Of course me being the patient(and currently hungry) soul that I am, I said sure. We go get in line and get some food, and on the way to pay I meet Shera. We chew the fat(I need to stop using these bizarre phrases) for a while and work out some details for Saturday. Now is where the fun starts, after Shera brings us the bottle opener we start in on our six pack and organic pizzas, and decide that not only are we being stared at(what no one sits in whole foods and drinks light beer?) but we may need to crash this launch party. The wine selection, the menu(watermelon gezpacho, goat cheese medallions, Fresh fruit), and the attendees(Vegan, Vegetarian, and Pescatarian women are sexy!) had a lot to do with this decision. Now I was all gung ho(here I go again smh) for it and had to convince my buddy to come along. See I have long believed that no one knows you don't belong somewhere unless you show them. People who sneak into VIP, or into a private beach, or whatever always have this nervous tenseness about themselves. I have a certain Je Ne sais quoi that blocks me from behaving as such. My friends have asked me numerous times, "ID how did you pull that off?" Simple, I acted like I belonged. I behaved naturally as if I owned the joint. I ordered my first drink for myself in a restaurant at age 17(I was a freshman in college ok!) and the waitress dare not ask me for ID after I requested a Ketel one Martini dry with a lime twist. I was too specific, I was too calm, I was a natural. So we finished our pizzas, and got up to use the bathroom. Which conveniently was located in the area where the party was(did they just give me an IN?) being held. We go inside and this dude still wants to leave. Well by then we are waist deep in the party and the crowd has converged on our preferred exit.I said "Look man they don't want us to leave" and so we stayed. Initiated a convo with the hired bands manager after I noticed the lead singer playing a Gibson(an acoustic masterpiece), I mingled, I even was the first one of us to sample the wine, and baller ass spread of fresh fruit(MANGO AND PAPAYA FTW!!!). I was being my usual relaxed, and natural self. I even spoke to the publisher of the magazine who personally constructed the guest list and had no idea who I was! I left with the inaugural issue of the mag, and a free copy(retail value $5) of the bands CD. How? Why? What? All because I acted cool, calm, collected, and most important Charismatic. It's just what I do, I don't even have to try, after all I'm a NATURAL.

Short Story Series: Vol. 1 Chptr. 2

"In Your Dreams"

The sound of Rachel's voice in the morning always brings a huge smile to my face. It has become as much a signal to the start of the new day as the brilliant rays of sunshine that sneak through the curtains on the wall of windows leading from the master bedroom to the balcony. Rachel calls me three times each morning, the first is my wake up call the, the second is my cue to brush my teeth and wash my face, and the third is to let me know its time to stop standing on the balcony in my boxers and get dressed to come down for breakfast. It was Thursday morning which meant pancakes. Fluffy in the middle crunchy along the edges, and delicious all the way through. "Banana nut this morning baby?" Rachel just gave me a smile and a kiss on my forehead. "eat your breakfast Virgil, besides a woman has to have some secrets" Rachel walked off, and looked over her shoulder at me seductively and I almost forget that Nicholas is sitting at the table eating also. In fact I was completely oblivious of his presence until I heard him begin to vehemently gag and gasp for air. I immediately sprang into action. Rachel was already in the bathroom and I went into panic mode, and my son was choking to death! I did the first thing I could think of and starting patting his back with all my might. "Dad, Dad Dad! you're hurting me" he was still grabbing for air but now it was in between bursts of laughter. "Son are you ok?" I stood there confused waiting for a response. "I'm sorry Dad, didn't mean to scare you but the way you and mom were looking at each other was making me nauseous" I could have knocked the boy through his grandmother's old china cabinet and right into the family room. Instead I just gave him a few healthy noogies. Nick was my pride and joy, he really was all of what was good in me. I loved Rachel and I's only son more than anything in the world. Unfortunately I could not spend all morning with my family. It was time for me to go to work. I kiss Rachel grab my coat and make for the car. The car ride to work always seems to clear my mind, and by that I mean I never seem to remember it. Or at least for as long as I have been having that nightmare. I don't pay it much attention, because before I notice it I am pulling into my spot at work. Yes my spot, one of the perks of being an executive Vice President. The handle of door to my office is cold , its one of those familiar feelings that just remind you that all is right in the world. My desk is cluttered with things from Nick, pictures of Rachel and me, even a set of those of gyro things that never stop swinging once you set them off. I love those things. The day begins and its non-stop action all day. I am answering calls, reviewing reports, delegating, and and dictating. Before long its one o clock and time for Rachel and I's daily lunch. "Honey you know I had that nightmare again" Rachel nearly drops her fork "Virgil every night for 2 years , I am scheduling to an appointment." The idea of going to a therapist is stifling. Neither one of us speak another word on the subject but I know one day this week I will be at the doctor. The rest of the day goes off without a hitch and like the drive there I never remember the drive home either. What I could never forget is the nightly family ritual. I get home to a vibrant young son, full of vigor and potential, a beautiful and spritely wife, and a hot delicious meal. The entire home is happy. We sit as a family and talk and laugh for longer than is necessary for dinner. After dinner we all retire to a bit of private time. I go over a few emails and do some reading until I can sense sleep pass across the home. I love being the last one asleep. it does something for the protector and provider in me. I make my way to bed and rest my head to the pillow. I am instantly asleep. The sun creeps through the blinds I have fallen asleep in my son's bed again. My body is saturated in sweat and my eyes burn as though I've been crying in my sleep. In fact I was and still am. The nightmare has begun again.

Poem: Me Preguntas Por Que (You Ask Why)

You asked me why and I had no words for you whatsoever

No witty retorts, no poetics response, nothing even close to clever

You asked me why and it was if someone had muted my voice

thats when I agreed to write, i mean i didn't have any choice

You asked me why and I tried my best to come up with a few true causes

however everytime I put the pen to the pad all i came up with were pauses

You asked me why and I had to really think about it for quite some time

Not because I didn't know but my reasons to me seemed about as solid as slime

You asked me why and it has been on my mind ever single day since

I have been striving with all my might to come up with what makes sense

You asked me why and the brainstorm began to reach hurricane status

the thoughts flooded my mind my notebook my only floating apparatus

You asked me why and It came to my like a sudden rush of blood to my head

I felt a new sense of enlightenment felt so alive I had to have been dead

You asked me why and the answer is mostly because you simply exist

a relentless force of nature, an act of God I had no chance to resist

You asked me why and I learned its because you lift me above the sky

You are my joy, my laughter, my confidence so I don't have to be shy

You asked me why and I remembered you keep my head from hanging low

you are the reason I breathe, the air in the lungs, you are every breath i blow

You asked why and truth be told its partly cause I get to be me when you're around

I am unrestrained when in your presence I am set free truly unbound

You asked me why and I can finally say I totally know for certain no doubt

its that you satisfy my mental, emotional and physical, completely inside out

You asked me why I love you and this is as far as this space will let me go on

See to completely answer I would need a pen that can write on the horizon

I would take that magic sky writing pen and give my greatest college try

But I could never complete my task with out first getting a wider sky

Me Preguntas Por Que? (You ask why?)

Porque Lo Hago (Because I do)

Poem: Colletion Agency

This letter is addressed to none other than you yourself

Read it don't just cast it aside in bin, drawer or on shelf

this is an important document straight from a collection agency

we have called emailed hell we even texted with much frequency

but you have chosen to use third party methods to respond to us

used middle men strange tactics and sent smoke signals. what a fuss!

this note is nothing more than an attempt to collect an over due debt

no payment plan is available only a full payment can serve to offset

the amount you have accumulated as past and overdue charges

if your payment history was a career it would be El Debarge's

It had some consistency early on but very quickly went away

in other words you seemed to be willing but now you don't wanna pay

we have tried too many times to offer payment situations that could fit

your budget your needs your situation we really used all our wit

All of that is in the past now we cant afford to leave this one unresolved

a promise we make to you that once payment is received all will be absolved

we just want what is due to our agency nothing more nothing less

if we acquire these assets we assure you no further stress

Now if you have forgotten we have no trouble reminding you of the debit you owe

realize that it started off small but time is a hill and debt a ball of snow

so as time went on what you owe has had time to grow and multiply exponentially

we must accept some of the blame we thought you would get to it eventually

before you freak,no worries what you owe will not get you convicted of any crime

But this letter is your last chance to respond to your debt of MAJOR FACE TIME

This has been the collection agency and we sincerely sign off now

hopefully our next conversation will be when we are standing brow to brow

Roses For The Living : J.Ivy

Happy Birthday to J.Ivy

The award winning Chicago,Il poet who inspired me to pick the pen back up when I thought I had nothing more to say. He has been featured on The College Dropout album by Kanye West as well as Mcdonalds McCafe series. He is probably my favorite spoken word artist

Here is the poem he spit on the Kanye West Song by the same name

This next piece entitled "Dear Father" is the one that inspired me to write again

Tuesday's Taboo: The Pseudo Relationship and Cheating

Talking, Dating, Kickin It, Goin Together, and Cheating

Ok first let me apologize Tuesday got away from me I was ridiculously busy all day, so I am addressing Tuesdays Taboo on Wednesday yeah I know once again I apologize.

I am not sure at what point in urban history this phrase "Talking" was introduced. I only want to know the exact date so I can mark it as the end of conventional sense, and the beginning of collective coonery. I having been raised under an English language tyrant never had the opportunity to stay current on urban vernacular. Hell I am convinced I still don't know what this phrase means beyond actually speaking, something that has caused me problems with people who have forgotten that the word had a meaning before it was lent to it's urban meaning. I guess my biggest issue with it, is that like most urban terms it is ambiguous and subjective. There are no defined parameters, or set protocols when one is "talkin" to someone. From what I gather it simply means that you are spending time with a person and having regular phone based conversations with them. It appears that at some point phone communication with a person of the opposite was deemed a sign of something going on. However it would appear that none of these situations are exclusive, but if someone violates the "sanctity" of them it is a problem. It seems like noone ever wants to talk about how silly this all is. Noone wants to be tied down in a relationship anymore but we want an exclusive pseudo-relationship situation. It makes no sense at all. I am old school, dating is a scene. You can "date" several people because dating just means going on dates. After dating a person for a while then you make a commitment to exclusivity. At which point you are in a committed relationship. Noone says these things anymore, they are too defined. We would rather hide behind an "It's Complicated" relationship status. If there is no real commitment to exclusivity there is no such thing as cheating. My mother says that if you are not married there is no such thing as cheating. I won't go that far but it's ridiculous what constitutes cheating nowadays. Trust is the issue, and until people make the decision to put effort into trusting we will continue to have baboon relationships where we flip out and go nuts if someone is breathing near our partner.....

p.s. Trust is not built when things seems right. when things are strange, or unpleasent, uncertain, or difficult, that is when trust is truly built.

Shameless Plug

Ok so I am in the process of penning a fiction Novel and thought I would post my prologue for you guys. As always feedback is welcome and appreciated.

p.s. Alonzo William Edwards is my pen name

Throw it all Away

By: Alonzo William Edwards

I hate places like this. They really get under my skin in an exceptional way. It’s like one of those weirdo movies. This dimly lit sub-basement of a public crematorium. The stench of sulphur making love to rotting flesh, climaxing into a potpourri describable as nothing less than hot death, the aroma is almost hypnotic. So much so it nearly causes me to forget why I am here. Almost forget that is until the slow drawl of the man I am speaking to thrusts me back into reality. He is a dwarf of a man quite ogrish in his appearance and not quite as bright as the dimly lit space we are occupying. I see the confusion on his face as the words begin to dribble from his lips. ‘Ok let’s get this straight. Because I am not quite sure what exactly it is you are asking me to do. I mean it’s just that… it’s that I mean you have to admit it is a strange request.” I turn up my lips in a manner that suggests I am not explaining this for the first or last time, and begin to once again divulge my masterfully engineered and up to this point masterfully executed plan to this impish blue collar worker. I stand there in my personally tailored Italian suit, my navy blue appearing black in the low light. Pinstripes from shoulders to feet accentuate my 6’1” athletic frame. Name brand frames and custom color changing lenses wrap around the corners of my neatly trimmed head of deeply waved hair. The collar of my white shirt begins to dampen from the sweat of my neck as I speak. I loosen my sapphire blue tie, thinking how much it accents the azure of my eyes, and realize that perhaps if I had not been born with these exotic optical amenities I would not even be having this conversation right now. I finish speaking to the man who I would have until this point in my life would have considered far below deserving audiences with me, but now I find myself supplicating desperately. He appears to finally grasp my concept. “Ok sir I believe I understand. You are going to pay me one hundred thousand dollars to sell you the ashes of a random John Doe. Then you want me to give them to your wife and family so they can use them at your memorial service.” I smile slightly “yes I need you to do all of these things as well as confirm the death certificate and remember you are doing this as a part of my last will and testament.” The man seems to swallow these words like warm bourbon. “Ok sir I believe I got it all. It’s just that… it’s that. I don’t understand why you are doing this sir. I mean sir you live from what I can tell a perfect life. Why would you want to throw it all away by pretending that it’s over? I mean faking your death. I mean it’s just that… it’s that you have so much. Why would you throw it all away?” I am immediately taken aback. This lowest level of man has spoken words that are immeasurably profound to me. Throwing it all away has seemed to be the theme of my entire existence. It is the reason I am standing here this very moment. He knew nothing, I was throwing nothing away. I was gaining the world. She had thrown it all away. She had done this it was her it was all her fault. He didn’t know that though, he thought I was throwing all away. Hmph.