"In Your Dreams"
The sound of Rachel's voice in the morning always brings a huge smile to my face. It has become as much a signal to the start of the new day as the brilliant rays of sunshine that sneak through the curtains on the wall of windows leading from the master bedroom to the balcony. Rachel calls me three times each morning, the first is my wake up call the, the second is my cue to brush my teeth and wash my face, and the third is to let me know its time to stop standing on the balcony in my boxers and get dressed to come down for breakfast. It was Thursday morning which meant pancakes. Fluffy in the middle crunchy along the edges, and delicious all the way through. "Banana nut this morning baby?" Rachel just gave me a smile and a kiss on my forehead. "eat your breakfast Virgil, besides a woman has to have some secrets" Rachel walked off, and looked over her shoulder at me seductively and I almost forget that Nicholas is sitting at the table eating also. In fact I was completely oblivious of his presence until I heard him begin to vehemently gag and gasp for air. I immediately sprang into action. Rachel was already in the bathroom and I went into panic mode, and my son was choking to death! I did the first thing I could think of and starting patting his back with all my might. "Dad, Dad Dad! you're hurting me" he was still grabbing for air but now it was in between bursts of laughter. "Son are you ok?" I stood there confused waiting for a response. "I'm sorry Dad, didn't mean to scare you but the way you and mom were looking at each other was making me nauseous" I could have knocked the boy through his grandmother's old china cabinet and right into the family room. Instead I just gave him a few healthy noogies. Nick was my pride and joy, he really was all of what was good in me. I loved Rachel and I's only son more than anything in the world. Unfortunately I could not spend all morning with my family. It was time for me to go to work. I kiss Rachel grab my coat and make for the car. The car ride to work always seems to clear my mind, and by that I mean I never seem to remember it. Or at least for as long as I have been having that nightmare. I don't pay it much attention, because before I notice it I am pulling into my spot at work. Yes my spot, one of the perks of being an executive Vice President. The handle of door to my office is cold , its one of those familiar feelings that just remind you that all is right in the world. My desk is cluttered with things from Nick, pictures of Rachel and me, even a set of those of gyro things that never stop swinging once you set them off. I love those things. The day begins and its non-stop action all day. I am answering calls, reviewing reports, delegating, and and dictating. Before long its one o clock and time for Rachel and I's daily lunch. "Honey you know I had that nightmare again" Rachel nearly drops her fork "Virgil every night for 2 years , I am scheduling to an appointment." The idea of going to a therapist is stifling. Neither one of us speak another word on the subject but I know one day this week I will be at the doctor. The rest of the day goes off without a hitch and like the drive there I never remember the drive home either. What I could never forget is the nightly family ritual. I get home to a vibrant young son, full of vigor and potential, a beautiful and spritely wife, and a hot delicious meal. The entire home is happy. We sit as a family and talk and laugh for longer than is necessary for dinner. After dinner we all retire to a bit of private time. I go over a few emails and do some reading until I can sense sleep pass across the home. I love being the last one asleep. it does something for the protector and provider in me. I make my way to bed and rest my head to the pillow. I am instantly asleep. The sun creeps through the blinds I have fallen asleep in my son's bed again. My body is saturated in sweat and my eyes burn as though I've been crying in my sleep. In fact I was and still am. The nightmare has begun again.
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