In my line of work I encounter a wide variety of humans. Now the difficulty usually lies in deciphering exactly how to deal with these folks I have been complimented on my patience, and my people skills but occasionally I am greeted with a human(i am using this word because this is a human and not a person) that just has me at my wits end. Let me tell the story. Its my first week in Orlando, and I am meeting all of the workers that the church has accumulated over the past six months. I have met the tile layer, the painter, the carpenter, the A/C repair man, and the drummer in the band. Then one day while in the driving seat of the riding lawn mower I am greeted by a new human, a human I would find out had several physical ailments he was dealing with. High blood pressure, crack cocaine withdrawals, but most dangerous of all this human suffered from diarrhea....not of the anus but of the mouth. Yes this human seemed to have no control of the consistency, frequency, or content of the words constantly oozing from his mouth. Now as a person of Caribbean(Bahamian) descent, I know that nothing is more annoying than a Caribbean(in this case a fellow Bahamian) who just talks too dam much. Now I am sure we have all encountered some person who doesn't know when to shut the hell up, but you have never met this human. Just today because he had to say something, he shared with my cousin(who I was demolishing in Madden) that the Baltimore Ravens were thusly named because of the Raven being the national bird.......are you ok now? I needed a minute when I heard it too. It led to just too many dam questions. Is Baltimore its own nation? Is the Raven the new National Bird and no one told me? Wait is this guy a Re-Tard?(In my Allan from The Hangover voice) I had to correct this, but from there I was unable to deal with the onslaught of foolishness that came from his mouth. I just sat there shaking my head at a human who must have a mental condition that causes him to use way too many words.
Now to address the post title, I have to tell you a bit more about this human. He himself is an unemployed musician, who plays in a gospel group, is a recovering crack addict, a father, and aspiring security officer, with a suspended license, dangerously high blood pressure, originally from Miami and in dire need of a ball gag. He comes to the church to speak to myself or the Pastor about some problem he currently has. This is fine. The church is a hospital, come every time you are sick, to be healed. However if your finger is bleeding tell the doctor "hey doc my finger is cut", do not give an unnecessary soliloquy about how the aforementioned finger has a more difficult situation than the others, that it is neglected and mistreated by the other fingers, or that "the system" is against it. JUST SAY YOU NEED A BANDAGE!!!!! He comes today to basically say he is trying to move his(adult) son up to Orlando, and he is still without a job and cannot afford to do so. He is in the process of procuring a security license(at 56) and needs a job for his son for the next 6-8 weeks until he is working. Thats fine, that takes all of 2 minutes to say, taking into consideration the most exaggerated pauses tolerable. However this is not what happened. He had to paint an elaborate portrait of the suffering and strife of his son, and how powerless he feels, and how difficult it is, and what his home situation is like where he lives now, and how tough Miami is, and how hot is was today and that its Friday the 13th and I might be exaggerating now but dammit it felt like he was adding anything to enhance the story. He does this with EVERY SINGLE ISSUE he has(no exaggeration this time) every time he comes here. At this point it is difficult to even want to deal with this human because he gives me way too much, when he could simply be straight with me. Its hard to take this human seriously(he is a human and not a person, because people should be considerate of others), therefore he will from now on be known as "The Boy Who Cries Wolf". I just hope for his sake something elaborate never does occur, his credibility has all but disappeared
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