Zebra Hunting Season

Shoot That Zebra!

For the nominal fee of $4500(per person +$250 per extra day) you and your friends can enjoy an all inclusive hunting getaway at the Texas Hunt Lodge located in Kerrville, TX. This package includes, lodging, meals, a guide, taxidermy service, meat preparation, access to a private fishing spot, and an open bar. There is even accommodations made for physically challenged hunters(yeah that's fair, and dog fighting is the most inhumane thing you could do?) including those limited to a wheelchair. Now I'm not one for hunting in the first place, but if I were I would surely want to hunt something exotic. I just don't know if its legal to shoot the breed of Zebra I am interested in hunting. See I wanna shoot the Zebras the gather in herds at sporting events. You know the ones who carry whistles and interfere with the game. I believe the scientific name is Official.

I am of the belief that were it legal to shoot official, that in this year alone the specie would have been over-hunted into extinction. Why you ask? Well if you are a sports fan, and have access to sight, hearing, and the cognitive abilities of reason and emotion than you surely must already know why. This has been, and yes I am saying this before Baseball ends, after only two weeks of the NFL, and before the NHL or NBA begin again, the WORST year in sports officiating history. We have seen blown or botched calls in all of the big 4 american sports, and for my readers across the pond(which I found out I have ^.^) we got to see international officiating debauchery on the largest sporting stage ever, The World Cup! In the NFL both Conference Championship games were compromised due to poor officiating(didn't realize sneezing on a QB counted as roughing). The entire NBA playoffs were a mess but none as much as the Finals(Technical Foul). The NCAA tournament....we shall not even speak on it I'm just glad Duke ended up winning it all. The NHL playoffs and Stanley Cup altered because of poor replay interpretation. The Officials themselves and even the FIFA officials apologizing for the debacle that was World Cup officiation(it looked like The World Poker and Kickball finals with all the cards and free kicks handed out). A perfect game lost in the MLB hell Stevie Wonder, Hellen Keller, and Ray Charles would have called that guy out! We already have a ridiculous standard starting in the new NFL season. Catch is made, player lands on the ground inbounds, players momentum moves them on the ground and eventually into a standing position, player releases ball.....Incomplete Pass. Ok class let's say it in unison WHAT! THE! F#%K!(still surprised Lions fans didn't riot). Then on this weeks MNF a NFL referee in San Francisco said that a football that landed in Oakland and then bounced to Richmond touched a SF player(ok i'm exaggerating.... a little) and we actually had to waste the time it took to challenge this idiotic call. I shudder to think what College Football, the MLB playoffs, or even *gasp* the NBA have in store for us during the remainder of this calendar year but I will tell you one thing. I am applying for my hunting license now. Going rifle shopping the day my license is approved, and flying to Kerrville(well Austin and then to Kerrville) Texas, because I am sure that at some point before now and 12:59:59 on December 31st I will need to shoot a Zebra to keep from shooting a "Zebra" or myself. *Face Palm* *SMH**Heavy Sigh*